The Brick

There are moments in time when you build, build yourself, build others, build around you. You build for future, for long term future, not for a day or two, not for a few months, you build for years.
While building you might not always see all the implications, you might not see the complete picture of the impact that each brick that you put in your wall might have in the long run. You take into account their strength, their wit, their capability for working hard, their desire to build, to grow.
But, then again, maybe you don't see at that point all the defining details which make that brick what and who she actually is.
And after some time, when you thought the wall was strong enough you think of giving the bricks their freedom to do their own building.
(Whether this was a mistake or not, or that maybe the material the bricks were made of wasn't a strong enough one it's just for history to tell now.)
Then out of nowhere, when you think all you've worked for is lost, there comes this small but beautiful young brick that sees inside you, sees the pain of your soul and tries to comfort you, tries to heal your wound the best she knows how.
Being hurt, on un-solid ground, with your confidence shredded, your building thorn to pieces and your dreams though filled with good intentions broken, you give in to the warm embrace of the little beautiful brick and you let yourself nourished.
As time goes by, your wound heals, your lessons are analyzed and hopefully learned or at least sorted, label and placed in a special place of your memory and you start inquiring the little brick, trying to find out what triggered her into helping you when no other was around to care for you.
And so, question by question, day by day, word by word, look by look, touch by touch, suddenly, one day, you realize what you have in front of you is one of the most amazing souls that you had the chance and honor to cross paths with during this life. A beautiful being that encourages you, through all that she's doing, to keep believing in humans, to keep striving for better, to re-start building even after the wall got thorn apart. She shows you your true nature and that maybe the reason for your "failure" wasn't what you thought initially but makes you question whether this wasn't rather a sign of you not being on your path anymore.
And days and weeks and months go by and she becomes your friend.

And then, one crazy day, you both find out that you think alike, feel alike, act alike, that, even though so different, you are soul sisters. And this hits you but in a nice, fuzzy, warm way and makes you realize, again, that life is beautiful!


Here's to friends - I love you all!

And moreover, here's to that special friend that was at my side all the way for the most recent 3-4 months: my affection for you goes beyond words!

Cadou

Azi a fost o zi ca toate zilele.

Si totusi nu :) "s-a intamplat" ceva, un ceva a carui profunzime am realizat-o tarziu, dupa cateva ceasuri bune, dupa ce m-am retras in spatiu'-mi propriu si-am avut timp sa analizez.
De fapt nici n-a fost necesar sa analizez, mi-a venit pur si simplu, ca un gand extrem de bine conturat in minte, parca ar fi fost ideea altcuiva sau ar fi fost gandita cu mult timp inainte si ramasa acolo-n asteptarea implinirii.
O fiinta draga-mi, o persoana inteligenta si, desi cu multe frici si incertitudini doar banuite si nedescoperite inca intru totul, un personaj cu multa incredere in fortele proprii, astazi, mi-a cerut parerea legat de o activitate pe care tocmai o pusese-n scena.
Sa ne-ntelegem, imi cere des parerea, nu e ceva nemaintalnit. Dar astazi...astazi a facut-o in modul cel mai inocent posibil, in modul cel mai infrigurat de nesiguranta, in acelasi mod in care un copil cere parerea unuia dintre parinti, cautandu-i aprobarea, sperand ca cel varstnic sa-i arate mandria pe care vlastarul a incercat sa i-o sadeasca in suflet prin fapta sa.
Ei da, asta am simtit azi.
Ce nu stie aceasta fiinta e ca pe parcursul intregii puneri in scena a activitatii sale i-am fost alaturi, incercand sa-i dau din energia mea s-o foloseasca drept stalp de sprijin. Imi cauta din ochi privirea cand pierdea din siguranta si-l incoltea teama de esec si i-i inveleam pe cat puteam cu caldura, cu zambet izvorat din suflet.
Cand a fost totul gata i-am spus ceea ce simtea nevoia sa auda si, pe de alta parte, era si intru totul adevarat: da, m-a facut mandra! :)
Era deja destins cand a primit raspunsul si-abia atunci am constientizat si eu sustinerea de care nici el, inainte, nu stiuse.

Poate ca suna egoist, dar ma simt extraordinar de bine acum stiind c-am reusit sa ajut chiar si numai c-un dram de caldura!
E bine, e just, e admirabil sa ajuti cand poti.. dar, cand mai reusesti sa si vezi realizarea celui ajutat, o bucurie imensa iti inunda sufletul!

Asa ca, suflet frumos, iti multumesc pentru acest cadou nepretuit!

Incandescenta

Inchid ochii si-mi concentrez privirea spre cel de-al Treilea.
Incerc sa ma scufund in intuneric dar nu,
Prin pleoapele inchise imi vad lumina, aura, ca si cum tot corpul mi-ar radia.
O stranie incandescenta de energie ce strapunge prin negru.
Vreau doar sa ma pierd in mine si nu reusesc
Oh, Doamne, tine-ma de mana!!